This is surely the lady I was told I was "suppossed" to be when attending Jr. High & High School -- the "All American " girl that always smiled and did excellent cooking..had the correct dishes on the table for all occasions...

~~ Well ~~ jus' like this lady...I'm not the smiling perfect lady I was instructed to be...instead I have a tendancy to scorch some dinners...grab whatever dishes happen to be clean...and thro paper towels next to the dinner on the table...their good to mop up spills, so there good enuf to wipe crumbs off the chin.

This piece was one of those that I seemed to put together and laugh the entire time...the lady is from some pak of collage goodies I found at one of the art stores, and simply thot she'd be my pick for the shell package...the smile os what really does it....sometimes when The Husband gets really, I mean REALLY on my last good nerve, that's when I get this same kind of smile on my face. He really knows he's in for it then ~~ But the title for this one seemed to jus' pop up from no where, but fits.

"She Sells Sea Shells By The Sea Shore"

Lady of The Tulips ~~ who can't believe that tomorrow is the last day of '06 ~~ oh blast...an' I haven't paid the phone bill yet...yee gads...

*** Last night for the first time since the Model T was invented, The Husband & I went to a "Christmas Party" - and this was a gift to all the employees of the truck company thst he happens to work for. When he was sick last year, we didn't make the party...but this year we found that everything was fine & dandy so we got ourselves somewhat dressed up (even better than getting the "cleanest" dirty shirt out of the laundry hamper...) and made the trek to the restraunt where the party was held ***

Since we seldom get out and about, we were somewhat suprised by the amount of traffic out on the one road to the location we were headed. Sure, Sure, there are 1,298,496 drivers out on the roads right now because of the Christmas Holidays, and yes, probably 1,298,493 of them still have some late - last minute gift giving to attend to. But we thought that it wouldn't be all THAT bad jus' tryin' to get to a restraunt...shows what we know.

We ended up being the first one's to the place (A first for us!!) -- And were greeted as if we were some big - wigs attending a LARGE function...actually we went to a Texas Steakhouse location not too far from the Beach, so it wasn't as tho we were going to a Black-Tie Ordeal...but we felt nice that the staff at least were expecting us. We walked over to the area where the staff had set up chairs and tables...we had a nice dinner, talked with several of the other drivers, an' waved at others as they came in, and said bye when everybody got thru with their food. All and all a pleasant evening.

The funny-odd thing, was that the MINUTE we got into the car, The Husband's cell phone rings...I'm reaching into the back seat to grab the bag The Husband keeps the cell phone in, I'm trying to get my seat belt on, and tell him where we're suppossed to turn out of the parking lot to get across the Bizzy intersection to get to another big Blvd., and then get to our house. All this in about 25.8 seconds. AND answer the phone without sounding winded, or really ANGRY..Ends up it was the youngest, asking , "What're ya doin?" --- (Think Beavus & Butthead here...) ~~ "Uhhh....uhhhh..." He knew we went to this dinner....he knew it'd be at least 9 p.m. before we'd get outta the place, and he STILL asks..."What're ya doin?..."

I've decided that the ranting I did the other day about leavin' town, moving to a small and remote location and all-together shuffling off all parental obligations was after all A VERY GOOD THING ~~ I MEAN -- it's the first evening that The Husband & I go to a dinner party and we have to give our location and estimated time of arrival to one of our adult children...because to his way of thinking, we've been gone long enuf, and, so therefore....GET HOME NOW!!! At first I thought I'd over reacted on the rant of leaving home and going to someplace like Dodge...or another small place in Kansas...but looking back on it, the rant was quite the good idea, and may produce some sort of leaning toward some other location for residence. >> Without one of the cell phones ringing and hearing some idiotic question being asked of me.

Am I wrong in pondering this?

Well -- since it is The Holidays, I will attempt to refrain from any other outbursts and try to enjoy the pretty lights all around the neighborhood, and look joyfully at the pretty decorations the stores have set up for the shoppers. I will also refrain, or at least attempt to remain cool, calm and collect once I've got a ride to a store to do actual Christmas Shopping...The Very Fine Automobile is still sitting in the carport (no mechanic ever came to look at it...whatta suprise..) and so am waiting for The Husband to get back from an out of state freight haul , then take me to someplace high class and expensive...something like Big Lots....oops...oh, ya know...The Mall or somewhere..

If I survive this shopping experience, I may take up the offer from our middle son...who told me, "One day, ma, ya know -- I jus' may get you a bottle of Gin...you keep sayin' you're gonna have a Gin & Tonic if things don't straighten out...Won't YOU be suprised If I haul off an' git ya one?!!"

More on this later...

Lady of The Tulips -- who heard of 389 presents that "Would be Good" to get for assorted members of the family. This is all Well and Good -- Does any one know of where finances can come from in order to get said presents?? Jus' would like to know >> sigh >>

~~ As is the case with my modern hip lifestyle..(waiting for the bolt of lightening to strike the house...) I've been spending the last40 minutes attempting to download (oh $}&$# -- is it Upload??) one of my pictures again...I felt so Cool & Groovy the other day when I jus' hit the buttons and ZINGY-WHIPPY!! ~~ there were one of my collages all nice and spiffy...Now I can't figure out the problem, an' naturally the Computer Kid is at his first day on a new job...so he's not here to assist the Computer Challenged Old Bag....

But in other news...the attempt has given me a chance to think on a little intereting thing that happened to me over the weekend....

Went to a chain fabric store, in time to pick up some patterns for shirts an' get an idea of what to use for some other projects. Went up to the check-out line, an' while waiting for another customer, I'd taken out my checkbook, filled in the line for the name of the store...an' suddenly heard the woman next to me say, "You aren't REALLY going to write a CHECK??!!, are You?" I turned around an' proceeded to listen to her say how she just cannot believe her mother actually uses a CHECKBOOK >>> an' how Old Fashioned it is to use one, now that there are DEBIT CARDS!! out there. And how this woman could not believe how ANYONE in this day and age would ACTUALLY take the TIME (all her "italics...") to write out something ANYMORE!!

~~ Naturally with this woman speaking VERY loudly, people had to turn around to see who the DOLT was standing in line with something just this side of the original wheel that was invented...I, however, tho not too pleased with being made this stide of a laughing stock, turned nice an' slowly, an' proceded to tell this to those all staring at me....

The reason I don't use a Debit/Credit card, besides the fact I haven't used credit cards for over 10 years..(Why make a Fat-Cat Banker any more money?? ) is because I quit, and hate them. The second reason, is 'cause the bank The Husband opened out account at, is on the Navy Base where he had been employed...since he's no longer employed with the Tech Firm on Base, I have no way to get onto said Base, to do anything with the Bank Account...OR -- I could make a big scene, try to get on Base with out a Pass, and quickly be taken away to where ever people go tht attempt those kind of things..an' then request that my kids come visit me while I'm in the Federal Penn!!

At least that got some chuckles, and quite a few nodding of heads...So ~~ I proceeded to Tell this Very Modern Hip Woman, that not only do I not have said Debit Card, I didn't drive on one of the most aggressive, dangerous interstates in the area for over a year, after the ONE time I did shortly after moving here...it literally scared me so terribly, that it really and truly did take me a year to recuperate from the ordeal...I chose now to AVOID that particular interstate, and any of the other ones, not just because my vehicle is over 10 years old (More OH MY looks...) but because it's just not my time to get myself killed while driving from one place to another...I also proceeded to say that after moving from a town of just over 300, there are a lot of things that are far too "Fancy and Modern" for this ol' country girl to try this late in my life, an' I seem to be getting along quite nicely, thank you very much, without any of the Extra #}^* in my life. End of Story.

This seemed to satisfy said Very Modern and Hip Woman, an' this left me with enuf time to MILK IT while I SLOWLY filled out my check for the amount to purchase the patterns I needed to get. I walked out not the least more Modern & Hip...but at lease I made some people realize that it's not all that IMPORTANT to try an' keep up with the Joneses..or whoever it is nowadays...

So ~~ To make a long story just what it is...All this trying an' nashing of teeth...throwing ashes on my self and altogether feeling like a Toad...I'm going to try again in the morning an' see if a picture will wonderfully APPEAR this time on my Blog...

Lady of The Tulips - who has questioned Very Many People about what would happen if said Lady was to get a horse and buggy an' get around The City with that mode of transportation....to date I haven't gotten a Positive Thumbs Up....still waiting...like waiting for her pictures to down/up load on this blog.....sigh....

~~ Here's one - a my lil' pictures that I got finished not too long ago - I'd been lookin' at some photos of models...an' how there seeems to be this latest "debate" over what "Breauty" is -- do models an' their clamoring fans go for the thin - stick - skinny - image...or do they go for some more sensible weight size -- So this pic. is titled "Absolute Beauty" -- notice the color of the crab -- an' the wonderful woman's picture on the photo with the letter B - Do we strive for the Wonderful look...striving with no other end in sight? Or do we realize we are all unique individuals with our own self worth..regardless of what some other yee- haw Tells us to look like?

My - O - My -- didn't mean to ramble so...am waiting patiently, Again for some stuff to get done before I can get to my lil' table out in the studio..the youngest is out of work now, so he's bizzly doin' sometin' out in the side yard...I KNOW better to start any project connected with art while he's WORKING -- always makes my lil' self do a BIG slop -up ...grrrr...

Here's my Stuff , then -- le' me know what it looks like..

Lady of The Tulips -- who pulled down the last of the tomatoes yesterday..still lil' maters on the dead plants..all sorta mushy an' goey..oh SICK...as my middle one sez...an' don' even ask me 'bout the Black-Eye peas...oohheeeyyuuu

~~ Somewhere there is an unwritten Law that sez any trip to the DMV should be full of nothing but horrors, headaches and all-around sorrow...

That being said - The Husband went to said dmv on Saturday ( I didn't even know they were OPEN on Saturdays...sheeh..) to have our oldest transfer his Saturn over to The Husband...the youngest went along so he could help out in any way possible...kinda like catch the father if he fell over from standing in line too long...or catch the father if the DMV worker said, "Please come back another day", after standing in line for 2 1/2 hours...that sorta thang..


Well -- since they were literally the LAST people in line for the day, they amazingly had pretty quick service...the youngest paid for the "tags" or license plates cause he eventually wants to drive the car...and the DMV worker was somwehat helpful with all of that...she even was pretty good about letting The Husband go outside and get some paperwork that the oldest had neglicted to have legally transfered from where he used to live, to here in Virginia. Once The Husband got home and started to relate all the Goings-On to me, I immediately started to cringe, 'cause I'd thot he'd end up sayin' something like, "Oh, an' they got so sick of us they threw us out like-a couple -a bums..." AMAZING!! not the case!! And, he said twice, how nice the lady was who helped him out with all the Assorted $}^#"% that goes into getting a vehicle licensed in the state of Virginia...I think I'm still in shock...

Well -- other news is that there has been some more progress on the Collage front...I'm gonna try an' post right after this one (?) to upload, (or is it download?) one of the collages I just finished putting the hanging wire on over the weekend. I've been encouraged by the middle one to let 'er rip -- show what's been happening in the Studio thru the last few dayz...IN THEORY I'llbe able to get the one picture I'm particularly fond of set up on here for all to see....Pleeze let me know what ya'll think....

Lady of The Tulips - who can hear the oldest screaming on his cell phone out in the front room -- he had a to work last night (he's a Limo driver sometimes for the restraunt he works at as a Valet) an' by the time he got home it was after 3:00 this morning...And the people who had the Limo didn't give him any kind of tip.....grrrr....he started the Limo run BEFORE 5:00 p.m. yesterday evening...Double grrr...

~~ Somewhere there is an unwritten Law that sez any trip to the DMV should be full of nothing but horrors, headaches and all-around sorrow...

That being said - The Husband went to said dmv on Saturday ( I didn't even know they were OPEN on Saturdays...sheeh..) to have our oldest transfer his Saturn over to The Husband...the youngest went along so he could help out in any way possible...kinda like catch the father if he fell over from standing in line too long...or catch the father if the DMV worker said, "Please come back another day", after standing in line for 2 1/2 hours...that sorta thang..


Well -- since they were literally the LAST people in line for the day, they amazingly had pretty quick service...the youngest paid for the "tags" or license plates cause he eventually wants to drive the car...and the DMV worker was somwehat helpful with all of that...she even was pretty good about letting The Husband go outside and get some paperwork that the oldest had neglicted to have legally transfered from where he used to live, to here in Virginia. Once The Husband got home and started to relate all the Goings-On to me, I immediately started to cringe, 'cause I'd thot he'd end up sayin' something like, "Oh, an' they got so sick of us they threw us out like-a couple -a bums..." AMAZING!! not the case!! And, he said twice, how nice the lady was who helped him out with all the Assorted $}^#"% that goes into getting a vehicle licensed in the state of Virginia...I think I'm still in shock...

Well -- other news is that there has been some more progress on the Collage front...I'm gonna try an' post right after this one (?) to upload, (or is it download?) one of the collages I just finished putting the hanging wire on over the weekend. I've been encouraged by the middle one to let 'er rip -- show what's been happening in the Studio thru the last few dayz...IN THEORY I'llbe able to get the one picture I'm particularly fond of set up on here for all to see....Pleeze let me know what ya'll think....

Lady of The Tulips - who can hear the oldest screaming on his cell phone out in the front room -- he had a to work last night (he's a Limo driver sometimes for the restraunt he works at as a Valet) an' by the time he got home it was after 3:00 this morning...And the people who had the Limo didn't give him any kind of tip.....grrrr....he started the Limo run BEFORE 5:00 p.m. yesterday evening...Double grrr...

~~ Have some time to write some random things...basically I'm waiting for some matte medium to dry on one of my collages, so I'm leary of disturbing the piece until everything's dry. I could try and get The Dog off "her" couch, but that may take much more than I have the energy for. Besides, it's jus' a tad chilly in the Studio, so I'm going to stay in the house for a little longer before I get the heat going in the Art Space --

The Husband is doing some work like mad these past few weeks...has been hauling lots of stuff to distribution centers..A lot has been last minute christmas stuff but now the calendar for retail is on Spring....which is hard to imagine when the radio is filled with "Deck The Halls" and other fun songs...My middle son & I were looking at some fabrics last week, and The Husband called on the cell phone to say he needed to get picked up at the terminal earlier than usual....had to make a run over to North Carolina to get some jackets to a distribution center -- and Honest -- he sez, "I've got Christmas Jackets Ma!" -- Fortunately I was close enuf to a bolt of fabric so that it sorta/kinda caught my arm when I suddenly stopped in the isle... "Whaa? You got what?!" "Christmas Jackets!!! Something like 7,300 of em!!" But I gotta get home early 'cause I gotta be at the place by 7 a.m. -- so THAT means you gotta come get me so I get home an' get to sleep asap!!"

~~ Now - what actually was in the Box were Spring Jackets - the paper for the Bill of Lading did have "Green" printed somewhere in the description of freight, so naturally The Husband thot they were for Christmas....oops...Actually for a couple department store chains for Spring...he had the chance to take a sneak peek in the warehouse while the boxes were moved to seperate areas..."They're the prettiest color of green...if you can wear that kinda thing. Mens...." Maybe some sorta thing like Rodney Dangerfield playing golf..that's all I could think of . Anyway, my middle one & I did get The Husband that afternoon after meandering in the fabric store... an' the poor Husband went right to sleep the minute he hit the bed. He's had something like 2 days off in the last 3 weeks, so he was REALLY glad to do nothing this past weekend...

An' speaking of the Holidays -- the idea in my lil' head has been to get things made for the family..but so far that's been viewed with a look of disgust, and a grunt to boot..Since I've always made odds an' ends for Christmas, this leaves me somewhat puzzled on what to do -- Do I jus' race to the closest store -- grab things off the shelves, get 'em home an shout "MERRY CHRISTMAS!! Here's yur STUFF!!" -- hmmm...that probably isn't quite in the Christmas Spirit, is it? -- I'm feeling like there should be some sort of middle ground -- Between going into the whole Mass Merchandise buying frenzy we saw over the weekend (trying to get past the Super +++ ~~ Mart and not getting slammed into by crazed shoppers..) or jus' getting some little things and making small ornaments like I've done in the past -- OR - make some kind of "Necessary Item " they each need...say like socks...uhhh...problem there. I've got no clue how to knit...hmm...Ah HA! -- sewing up some pairs of Boxers that say "Have a Nice Day!" -- hmmm -- seems like I'm gettin' nowhere fast...

So ~~ I'm back to waiting for my collage to finish drying ~~ hoping the sun comin' in thru the windows in the Studio will make it warm enough so that I don't have to turn the heater on (ok - so I'm a cheapskate...). Maybe I'll go in the room an' The Dog will have moved to another position on the couch...it could happen!

Lady of The Tulips - who's wondering why so much stuff is out on store shelves with odd color combinations that seem rather brash, for Christmas...will the color combination make people really buy 'em? Perhaps we'll see these same things on the Discount Isle come January 10th...you know...the "Discounts to 75% OFF!!" sorta isle...sigh...

~~ I hear the wind outside picking up, an' with it being over 70 Degrees, it looks like we're in for some rough weather...A good portion of the U.S. has been hammered with heavy snows, icy conditions, and people jus' not too thrilled with Life right now...my heart goes out to all who are in the grip of this terrible MESS --

But on a lighter note...there has been some progress on the Art ~ End of things here..some projects that have been sitting on my craft table are finally getting finished...an' the middle son who knows All Thangs Computer, tells me he can get some pictures of my work on this hear lil' Blog...'cept he's in Washington D.C. at the moment, so I can't find out 'xactly how to post my stuff till he gets back tomorrow afternoon...I'm Excited, still, to know that I'll be able to let the World see what sorta things I've been creating...The Moment of Truth, as it were...

Yesterday while getting some fabric pieces cut to apply on a couple of projects, I was stationed in my dinning room -- I had 2 workmen in the attic, and in the kitchen -- they were finally here to repair our furnace...Now -- the thing is WAY too large for the house...the people we bought the house from must have looked like an easy sale to the heating and air company who installed the Beast in The Closet ~~ Because the furnace is this HUGE thang that eats loads and loads of natural gas like candy -- our heating bills have run over $200 most winters, and we finally HAD ENOUGH!!! -- an' after saving up for nearly a month, I broke down an' called another heating an airconditioning company, and asked them to come out and generally Make Things Better...

We've used this particular company since we've lived here, so I trust their work...they've been very professional, but have repeatedly told me that the furnace we have was probably a great sale for The Other Company...an' is just not meant for this house...maybe one double the size of ours...ANYWAY -- we've discussed making some imrovements in the duct work, that would make the Beast run more efficently...an', like I said...after saving up, we finally got the repairs done....lots of Cutting of Wood....Hammering -- Yelling back & forth between 2 workmen...tracking dirt in & out of the house...making The Dog a nervous wreck...but after 2 1/2 hours, The Improvements were DONE!!! New registers are now sitting very happily where some REAL old one once were...shiny and clean...and the workmen even cleaned up after themselves ~~ AND ~~ All of this to the tune of $670.70 .....

After I picked myself up off the floor after getting the estimate and final amount for the work done...I regained my composure...wrote out a check for the total...an' quickly sank into a chair at the dinning room table... I am nearly CONVINCED I have chosen the wrong Occupation ~~ Heating & Air Conditioning guys must have some REALLY great vacations..because I'm sure what I jus' paid those guys should get them to Florida this winter IN STYLE!!! Six-Hundred Dollars!!! SIX!!! ~~ HUNDRED!!! Too bad that back in the day when I was in high school, classes weren't available for Girls to take any vocational classes..Because believe me, I WOULD HAVE TAKEN THEM!!!

~~ 'K -- sorry for the rant...but now I have to re-think what to do for Christmas...I'm not too sure if I can even afford one of those Dollar Places....sigh...

Lady of The Tulips ~~ who's pondering whether - o - not to sign up for some kinda vo-tech classes, to Learn a Trade....sheesh...